For me, failure is NOT an option!
This has been my mantra or objective if you will, for many years now. A most significant belief, goal and expectation I value for myself, and even as I planned the creation of my own company over the past couple years. Officially “launching” my company this year, this statement has been ringing in my ears very loud and proud, maybe even more so now as I evaluate 2016 and am mapping out my goals and objectives for 2017. So let’s talk about this dirty little word, failure.
2016 Has been a great success for me, so why am I still concerned with ensuring I do not fail in any way in 2017? What would a failure be? What does this mean to me? What actually is “failure” defined? I decided to look it up. Well, the definition of Failure via Merriam-Webster.com reads:
…omission of occurrence or performance; specifically : a failing to perform a duty or expected action” and “lack of success.”
This actually surprised me! I mean I am well-educated, English is my native language, so why did I feel I may have been misinterpreting this word all along?
My own thoughts on what failure meant, seemed much more dramatic and devastating than what I began reading about the true definition of the word.
Maybe failure isn’t a dirty word after all!
All my life, I felt Failure was bad! Failure is this ominous presence looming over us all, trying to creep into our psyche and capture us at our weakest moments and devastate our lives forever! Failure to me has always been like the adult version of the Boogey Man! Lurking in the shadows, always out of sight, but somehow you knew Failure was there watching and waiting. Waiting for you to slip up so it could take hold. Waiting for you to express self-doubt so it could confirm your fear. Waiting for you to be lazy or irresponsible so that it might capture your soul forever! Sound dramatic? Maybe, but I bet you can share a glimpse of my feelings here. Haven’t we all be overexposed to this word throughout our lives?
Even Social Media loves to tout the word and the fear that it can ignite in our minds at just the sight or sound of it. Social Media has been trending with all of these #Quotes of Inspiration, and how to be #Successful! Heck, I’ve even Tweeted many a time, popular #Quotes such as,
Failure! Failure with a capital F is what we should all avoid and fear, right? I’m here to say, WRONG!
How Do You Feel About Failure?
Although, thankfully, in my own mind, I have rarely, if ever, experienced true Failure. At least not as I had been defining it all these years (and I’m probably much older than you think.) I don’t recall ever receiving an F in class as a child, or as an adult in college. I’ve never been fired or filed for bankruptcy or wrecked a car. I’ve always filed my taxes on time and paid my dues. I’ve never failed at a business endeavor or committed any crimes. So I must have never failed at anything. My whole life has been a series of accomplishments and success! No disappointments or failures to record in my journal right? Again, I’m here to say, WRONG!
Of course I have Failed! I have failed at many things, sometimes over and over again. I guess my point here is… Failure is all about perception. Have I ever Failed in the true definition of failure? Let’s look again, “…omission of occurrence or performance; specifically : a failing to perform a duty or expected action.”
Failure is all about perception.
I’m a very reliable individual and have rarely ever failed to perform a duty or expected action. If I tell someone I will do something, I do it. I may not always meet the expected outcome, or have performed an event or responsibility successfully. But here is the secret many of us “Fail” to recognize in our constant strive to avoid failure: I learned something valuable when I did not succeed, or perform up to my perfectionist standard. My own personal perception of never having “Failed” myself, means to me, that even in my failures, I found success. Success in learning, growing and valuing my own abilities, or even sometimes, lack of them. Recognizing that I have tried, and learning that maybe I wasn’t as good at something as I wanted to be, didn’t mean to me that I failed. It meant that I succeeded in learning something. I learned that I wasn’t very good at softball. Now had I loved the sport I could have chosen to pursue it, practice my skills and maybe become the best softball player ever LOL. Okay doubtful, but it was not my passion. So, I learned from that experience.
“Reply All” to a Company Wide Email – Big Fail!
I once learned that this new email software called Outlook (yes, I’m dating myself here) was really complex and I WAS NOT very good at it. Hitting “Reply All” to a company wide email (with over 1,000 employees on the distribution list) was probably what we would now call a big “Fail!” However, I loved computers, and I loved email, so I took this opportunity to learn. I studied the software, I went to classes for beginning, intermediate and expert Microsoft Outlook and I soon became the “go to” person in my office for anything Outlook related! I learned this software inside and out, backwards and forwards, and I Succeeded in my mind. I never looked at my “Reply All” experience as a failure until now. As I fully realize the value of having failures in our lives… I am finally able to admit that I’ve had hundreds, probably thousands of them. Many of them embarrassing and harmless, some maybe more ego crushing than detrimental to any valuable mission. But I’ve had them. I’m finally learning to acknowledge them, not with my head hung low, or with bashful admissions.
I’ve Changed My Objectives for 2017 – I No Longer Fear Failure
Acknowledging and recognizing our failures is a real win for us to grow as employees, as family members, as friends and as community members. Without learning from our failures, we’ll never improve or bring value to our lives and the lives of others.
Failure is not a dirty word, it is all in our perception and what we do with it. Failure is no longer the Boogey Man in my life. Failure means we have tried something new, failure means we have reached for a new experience; how we identify our failures and how we decide to manage them is what will determine our future success. Our own individual relationship with failure; how we embrace it and perceive it, will determine our own victory.